Actor Colton Haynes Opens Up About Drug & Alcohol Addiction, Says He's Sober

Friday March 29, 2019

Out actor Colton Haynes is opening up about his addiction to drugs and alcohol for the first time.

In an interview with Attitude magazine, the "Arrow" star said he is six months sober after completing a four-month program.

"In 10 years, there were maybe 25 days I didn't drink," Haynes, 30, said. "I remember when I started, it was a couple of glasses of wine, and it regressed into really dark times."

He said that drinking and using drugs has been part of his life for the last 10 years but he fell into a "downward spiral" after he came out as gay in 2016.

"I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started," Haynes told Attitude. "I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control."

He added that while adjusting to the attention he was receiving, things in his personal life were beginning to fall apart. In May 2018, Haynes' mother died after a battle with advanced cirrhosis of the liver and a few months after that the "American Horror Story" actor and his husband Jeff Leatham announced their divorce after less than a year of marriage.

"I got married and that didn't work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died," he told Attitude. "At that point, I fell apart. My brain broke. I was doing a massive comedy for a studio, showed up to work and got fired on the first day. They said I looked as if I had 'dead in my eyes', and I did. "

That's when he started using more than ever, he said.

"I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn't even make some decisions for myself. I was drowning in my own shit," he said. Haynes added that he hit rock bottom when he woke up in a Los Angeles hotel after a seven-day bender.

"I locked myself in a hotel room at the Waldorf Astoria in Beverly Hills for seven days and was found in my room with these insane bruises all over my body," he told Attitude. "It looked as if somebody had beaten the shit out of me. I couldn't walk, so I was falling everywhere.

"I almost ruptured my kidney, ended up in the hospital, ended up in 5150 psyche hold," Haynes continued. "I was on such a destructive path that I could not function.

"I lost partial sight in my left eye for a while. I ended up having two seizures. I didn't know any of this was happening until I was sober enough to remember it," he recalled.

Haynes called the incident a "rude awakening" but made him ask for help.

"If anyone else had told me to get help I would be like 'Fuck you!'. I had to make that decision on my own. I was ready to stop running from my own problems," he told Attitude. "Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount of true love for myself, and started figuring out who I am without those vices, and recognizing the people in my life who lifted me up instead of tearing me down."

Now sober, Haynes said he wants to help end the stigma around addiction and help others who are struggling.

"I'm always going to be in recovery. There are so many people struggling out there, but not a lot of them talk about it. Life is much more beautiful than I could have imagined," he said. "It's just a different life now. It's the best gift I've ever been given."

Taking to social media, Haynes shared the cover story and said he's "extremely humbled to be on the 25th anniversary cover of [Attitude magazine]."

"Have to admit I was really nervous to open up about my struggles in the past," he added. "I hope those who are also struggling know that they aren't alone & there's nothing wrong with seeking help."

Click here to read Haynes' full interview with Attitude.