Internet Takes the Side of Woman whose Gay Brother Tried to Pressure Her with 'Homophobia' Claim

by Kilian Melloy

EDGE Staff Reporter

Friday April 15, 2022

A Reddit forum post says a woman's estranged brother accused her of "homophobia" in a bid to get her to accept their parents' outrageous demands. Readers took her side in the fight, according to Newsweek.

"The anonymous woman, known as u/jdjcjcinsbxjic, posted about her situation in Reddit's popular 'Am I The A**hole' forum where it received nearly 10,000 upvotes and 800 comments from supporting users," Newsweek recounted.

The woman explained how her parents regarded her older brother as the family's "golden child," saying that she had been unplanned and her parents had not wanted a daughter. "Her brother also disliked her, telling lies to their parents or stealing and blaming her," the Newsweek article recapped.

When she reached adulthood, she moved out of state and communication with the family fell away. Now married and expecting her second child, she has been contacted by her brother and parents — not because they want to reconcile with her for her own sake, but rather, she says, because her brother has come out as gay and the parents want to ensure the family name lives on through bloodline descendants.

Hence their unbelievable request: "Her parents requested that the future baby carry the family surname rather than her husband's," Newsweek relayed.

The parents went so far as to turn on the former "golden child," threatening the 30-something brother — who, the woman says, "has never worked," and whom they still support — with disownment and an end to their financial largesse unless he got his estranged sister to agree to their demand.

Needless to say, his appeals didn't move the needle of familial piety.

Her response was to tell her brother "that the family is 'dead' to her and that she doesn't care about him," Newsweek imparted. The woman disclosed in the forum that she felt she was being treated as a "'back-up source of blood related grand babies' since the 'golden child "failed" them.'"

Upon her refusal, her brother lashed out, telling her she was "petty" and "homophobic."

Forum readers reassured the woman that she was not the "asshole" in this situation, and dismissed his claims of "homophobia."

"Your brother is an a**hole in so many ways, but his homophobia claim is one I want to highlight," one respondent posted. "If you told him to f**k off because he's gay, yes, that would make you homophobic. That's not why you said it though."

Another put it with less nuance: "Brother needs to learn that he can't just use 'homophobia' as a reason just because he doesn't get his way."

As for the parents, "I'm sure they will stop trying to weasel their way back into your life once the baby is born and isn't given their last name," a third commentator offered.

Another reader posted their take on the family's dynamics overall. "Narcissistic parents usually have a golden child," the post noted. "Now they think this is brother's fault, and nothing to do with them. Typical estranged narcissistic parents."

Added the post: "Huge NTA for you OP, and a backpat for that steely spine."

Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Associate Arts Editor and Staff Contributor. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.